What Is Divorce Recovery Therapy?
“Give me the wisdom to know what must be done, and the courage to do it”.
Divorce Counseling, also known as Discernment Counseling, is a type of mental health therapy that aims to help couples recognize their relationship problems, explore healthy alternatives, enhance communication skills, and resolve conflicts. Divorce Counseling also helps people understand where the core root of their problems derived, how to move forward in their relationship, or how to work through a divorce.
Why Should You Choose Divorce Counseling?
Many people seek Mental Health Services during a rocky relationship or to process the impact of a divorce. When relationships end, it can take a toll on you, and significantly impact your mental, emotional, and physical health. Working with a therapist on an individual basis as well as with your partner, can help you process your thoughts and feelings in a safe environment.
Divorce Counseling can teach you valuable coping tools that will inevitably help you to rebuild your relationship or work through the pain and discomfort of a divorce. An experienced therapist will give you honest, objective feedback without judgment. They will help you discover and expand the ways in which you perceive various circumstances and deal with them.
Most importantly – Mental Health Therapy will teach you how to improve your current and future relationships, accept things as they are, instead of how you wish they were, and accept yourself without ongoing blame or shame. Not all relationships are meant to be. Understanding why that is and being able to accept it takes patience, work, and time.
What Is Pre-Divorce Counseling?
Pre-Divorce Counseling is the therapeutic process that assists couples in determining if it is time to get a divorce, or if their relationship can be repaired. Pre-Divorce Counseling can alleviate a lot of tension that has been occurring between partners and family members. It is vital to include the appropriate steps before this critical decision can be determined.
Decisions: Pre-Divorce Counseling provides individuals and couples with a safe, controlled and guided environment in which concerns such as constant fighting, disagreements regarding parenting styles, infidelity, and conflicting fundamental beliefs can be addressed and discussed. It is geared towards helping couples decide on what they want out of their relationship, or if it’s time to end their marriage.
Communication: A primary goal of Pre-Divorce Therapy is “Communication”. Intense, mixed emotions often run high during this time. A trained professional can help you express your bottled-up feelings in a safe environment without it resulting in a fight. Your therapist can teach you some helpful, effective ways to communicate with each other through conversation instead of conflict.
What If’s: It is most beneficial to have your therapist guide you through the “What If’s” of your relationship. Regret is often the most prevalent obstacle to overcome. Couples tend to focus on what they wish they should have said or done differently. While your therapist cannot turn back time, they can walk you through the critical choices you are facing, and hopefully help you feel more at peace with the decisions you make.
What About The Kids? Making decisions about your children and what will happen to them during a divorce is one of the most difficult things to do. Common questions that are asked include: “How do we talk to our kids about the divorce? How can we help them mentally and emotionally cope with their feelings? What will we do about their living arrangements, custody, and so forth? How do we answer their questions? What are the best co-parenting techniques? How do we develop a Parenting Plan that facilitates positive, healthy outcomes?”
Whatever you decide to do, and however you choose to proceed, ALWAYS make sure you consider your children and what is best for their overall well-being first. Remember – Your children are being put in the middle of a situation they did not create, nor do they have much say, if any, in your final decision.
Goals of Pre-Divorce Counseling: The primary goal of Pre-Divorce Therapy is to help everyone involved make it through an emotionally charged and difficult process as smoothly and safely as possible. Creating an environment that teaches couples and children how to communicate with each other in a civilized manner, ultimately builds confidence in the decision they make.
Divorce is a major life transition. It often takes time for all parties involved to adjust to this new way of life. Your therapist can help you to better understand and accept the hardships that come with this difficult decision, and prepare you for what is still to come.
The 5 Stages of Divorce
Relationships often begin with exhilarating feelings for one another, new beginnings, and romantic excitement.
When a relationship begins to crumble, it can be devastating for everyone involved. Coming to terms with a relationship ending represents loss. The commitments you made together, the dreams you were working towards, and the love you once shared is no longer present.
The 5 Stages of Divorce include: Cognitive Separation; Emotional Divorce; Physical Separation; Legal Dissolution; and Spiritual Un-Bonding. The 5 stages of Divorce encompass The 6 Emotional Stages of Divorce, which are similar to the stages of grief.
The 6 Emotional Stages of Divorce can be overwhelming, heartbreaking, and devastating. Everyone reacts and copes with the loss of a relationship differently. However, the 6 emotional stages that are experienced most frequently include: Denial; Shock; Contrasting Emotions; Bargaining; Letting Go; and Acceptance.
“Grief never ends, it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith; It is the price of love”.
If you or a loved one is currently enduring relationship problems or contemplating divorce, offer them unconditional love, support without judgement, and listen to them. Simply be there to listen when they want or need to talk. Throwing advice and solutions at them is not always helpful, and it can be quite damaging. JUST LISTEN.
To learn more about the processes of Pre-Divorce and Divorce Counseling, contact a professionally trained therapist who can help you.
“While you are shaping countless futures, make sure you protect yours too”.